"Live at Kelly Writer's House" recording

Kelly Writer's House posted the audio clips from the First Person Arts-themed reading on WXPN.  Clicking this link leads to the recording of my story Where Was I

Definitely check out the main page for the other great stories, including Tre Rials' guide to planning the perfect "evacu-cation" and Mike McCrary explanation of why he will never get fired.

A great night of stories!  Speaking of... I'm the guest storyteller at this Tuesday's StorySlam at L'Etage.  This is the last slam before the Fall Grand Slam at the Painted Bride Center and the theme is Faking It so there's sure to be a lot of desperate, enormously awkward over-sharing all night long!

And, finally, something completely inappropriate:

Prior to the radio show, I received an e-mail from the producer detailing the schedule, performance order and other details. At the end of this short, professional e-mail, she included what I can only assume is an obligatory warning concerning decency. It reads as the most foul, uncomfortably hilarious tirade of censored offensiveness.  It also sort of reads like one of those non sequitur-laden spam e-mails one gets from a Nigerian prince.  

I understand the necessity but I still find it so odd to think that a committee of people sat around saying and writing down words they found to be objectionable for public airwaves.  I would never say most of these words on the radio anyway... Well, without a good reason.  And sometimes just being on a radio is a good enough reason to say anything.  

So, without further ado... [I'm warning you, though, if you're not a fan of blue language I would not click through.  Taken all at once this will blow your wig back.  That's what she said.]


"1.21 Jigawatts" or On Doing The Only Thing I Know How To Do To Make It Better

It's getting to be about time for me to climb into a Delorean and travel back to the year 2000. When I was a sophomore at Columbia, slouching out of the closet and deeply depressed, I used to fantasize constantly about time travel. Though I had declared an English concentration, I was unabashedly majoring in Marty McFly Studies. I was, and still am, obsessed with the film Back to the Future, and its two sequels, particularly the dystopian digression in the second film. It seemed to me that all of life’s problems could be solved by exemplary skateboarding skills, a proliferation of manure, tech vests, and, above all, the ability to go back and right what once went wrong (apologies to Sam Beckett).


Briefly: On my neighbors

The women who live in the house behind me have at least 5 cats, an outdoor movie screen garden, an enormous pot-bellied pig they keep in the house and the most beautiful lighting in their kitchen. I am perplexed. I am enamored. I am obsessed.

I wrote a note on my bedroom window: "Dear Naybs, Les-be-friends! K? ♥ Eric. Ps: some pig!"


Is This Real Life?

I'm basically elbow deep in cake batter and trying to figure out how to film an "It Gets Better" video on my iPhone, so I'm re-running this essay because I love it. Unlike a lot of the stuff I wrote two years ago (when I was heavier, sadder, & sauced), it's actually pretty representative of how I feel so I only had to edit it lightly. Enjoy!

I've been plotting ways to get a baby. I don't want to father a baby; I just want to be around a baby. Sometimes. Today. Tomorrow I may want to be around a trapeze artist or a box of bagels. But today? Today I want a baby. I don't want financial responsibility for a baby; I do want to have the right to dote on a baby. Like a niece or a nephew. I don't want to have to change a baby's diaper; I do want to take a baby to New York for its 16th birthday. I don’t want to wake up to calm it in the middle of the night. I do want to post pictures of it on my Facebook page. I don’t want to change a baby’s diaper. Have I said that before? That’s because I really don’t want to do it. Diapers, I’ve been told, are like envelopes full of poop. I have no intentions of subscribing to that mailing list. I don't want a baby. I've been plotting ways to get a baby. I'd like to, maybe, Netflix a baby.


1,000 Cupcakes, 1,000 Crunches

I have a plan!

As is the case with most of my brilliant plans it involves carbs, unrealistic expectations and a costume!

I have a plan!

Okay, so here’s the deal: I need to get back into shape for Halloween. Because I’m going either as the Old Spice Guy or Craigery Morgan (that lip-synching viral superstar). The common denominator: shirtlessness.
The problem is I’ve let myself go a little bit over the past few weeks. Nothing crazy. I mean, I got a call from Celebrity Fit Club, but I politely declined. (And by “politely declined” I mean, screamed “Go eff yourself, Screech!” and threw my phone across the room.) I haven’t gone up a size, but my six-pack seems to be hiding behind roughly 76 oatmeal cookies, 112 Tastycakes (THEY ARE ALWAYS ON SALE!), 60 muffins of various flavors, and two slices of pizza. What? I was hungry yesterday.


Will You Accept This Friend Request?

I read the following essay last night at the Queer Memoir salon at the LGBT Center in New York City and I couldn't wait to share it here as well. I love this story; I'm pretty happy with this essay. It's especially nice for me to sharing on National Coming Out Day because it's largely about a friendship from my freshman year of college that gave me the courage to be honest about who I am. It's also about making connections in an increasingly web-based world, but that's not too deeply explored. Maybe in another draft.

Anyway, I hope you read and enjoy the essay. If you have feedback--good, bad, constructive, indifferent--please feel free to share!


There's No Such Thing As A Rainy Day

Just a few sentences from something I'm working on...

Flying over the Midwest, we encountered a sheet of storm clouds. The plane rumbled for a moment, then rose higher. We were shocked by sunlight, cerulean sky and mountain peaks in the distance. The clouds frothed out benath us. My mother leaned into me. "Isn't it funny," she said, "down on the ground all those people are having a rainy day. But not here. Not for us."


Queer Memoir preview!

Less than 24 hours until Queer Memoir: Friends, Lovers and Exes at the LGBT Community Center in Manhattan! The line-up is really fantastic and I'm thrilled to be a part of it. If you were planning on going, please note the venue has changed!

I put the finishing touches on my essay, Will You Accept This Friend Request?, last night and I have to say I'm really pleased. I'm very proud of this piece and I can't wait to get it in front of an audience. If you can't make it to the Salon, never fear--my piece will be published in its entirety here first thing Sunday morning. So, be sure to check back.

In the meantime, enjoy a different, short version of the story I feature in my essay in this story slam video.  And, after that, enjoy some great recommendations for other places to go in New York by that Craigery Morgan guy who is suddenly an Internet superstar. ;-)


"Where Was I?" -- New excerpt from the essay "Lost & Found"

I had the distinct pleasure of reading the following piece on an episode of the program "Live at Kelly Writer's House" that aired last night.   I read alongside some writers/storytellers whom I respect immensely, including Angel Hogan, Tre Rials and the inimitable Katonya Mosley.   It was a fun, special night.  I'm not altogether sure if a link is or will be available for the broadcast, but in the meantime I figured I'd share the text of what I read.

I called it "Where Was I?" and it sort of stands alone as a small rumination on actively engaging in the creation of memory and a disconnect created by hyper-awareness  of time.   Eventually, however, it'll be folded into the longer work-in-progress "Lost & Found," which is about memory, geography, and evolving familial relationships.   And taking pictures of food.

Mostly taking pictures of food.


Where Was I?


"Friends with Benefits"

Here's a heart-warming lil tale about a friendship I made in college that kind of changed my life. Speaking of which, I'm reading my essay "Will You Accept This Friend Request?" at Queer Memoir: Friends, Lovers & Exes on Friday in NYC, which is a different take on the tale. If you're in the area you should check it out!